I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize