I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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