She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
