i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
