so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
