Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
