I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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