I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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