i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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