The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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