Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize