beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
