sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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