it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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