Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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