nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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