all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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