____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
