it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
