Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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