Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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