I need help removing her.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
