you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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