Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
