I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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