I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
