Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
