dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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