So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
