well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
