I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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