Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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