just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
