Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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