Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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