proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
