He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
