A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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