Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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