i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
