John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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