Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
