somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
