You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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