i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
