What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
