remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
