All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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