your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
