White coat. Heels.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
