he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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