i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
