Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
