So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize