found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize