But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
