so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
